Dr. Parchuri |
Her aunt and her aunt's 82-year-old husband lived by themselves; their children were in the States, and there was not a lot of support. Though she lived and worked in the U.S. in her forties, she and her husband returned home in retirement, and she did not want to leave for a routine medical procedure. Vatsala's aunt felt that breathing the Indian air gave her life.
Dr. Vatsala Parchuri was in her twenties when she came to the U.S. in 1997 to join her husband and for training in internal medicine. While India remains a great comfort, she has lived here long enough to feel that York is now home. And a place of healing, hope, love, and belonging. But she told me that she experienced terrible sadness while in her residency at the York Hospital.
Attached to her Father
Though she has a younger brother, Vatsala said she was “raised as an only child” in Korukonda, a small enclosed schooling community in the district of Vizianagaram, Andhra Pradesh state, on the east coast of southern India. She said that she was very “attached” to her parents. Her father was a teacher. After he “retired,” he was recruited to be the principal of a boarding college. He was, Vatsala said, “a very active person” mentally, physically, and spiritually. He had a minor heart attack when his daughter was in medical school in India, but this didn’t slow him down, and he continued to work as the school principal.
Young Vatsala with her father |
When her beloved father was slow to awaken after surgery, and Vatsala was informed of this, she collected her three-year-old daughter and quickly booked flights to India to be with him. She prayed intently throughout the long journey. When she arrived at the hospital, her father was awake and seemed okay. In time, he was eating and drinking. But he began to wheeze again two days later. Dr. Parchuri was by his side, and she was concerned as the upper airway was being blocked.
The ENT doctor determined that he had vocal cord paralysis. So he was put back on the ventilator. Temporarily relieved, Vatsala went home for lunch. But her father had developed pneumonia, and he died after she left (and planned last words and final requests were left hanging). This was in 2003; her father was 75. Dr. Parchuri told me she has not fully recovered from that loss, even more than 20 years later. She said that “the brain blocks all unhappy, unpleasant things.”
She was tightly bonded to her father; Vatsala had a deep emotional need and intensity that she senses may be less common now (but she admits that she might be wrong). She accepts that not everyone can feel attached to their parents in the way she did. After her father died, Dr. Parchuri and her mother were in deep grief, and Vatsala cried every day for a good while.
To India to have her Green Card Stamped
When she took a brief time off work to return to India (with Raj) to have her Green Card stamped, Vatsala felt sick and nauseated the entire flight. She went to Chennai (formerly, Madras) to get the required chest X-ray to rule out tuberculosis for the immigration process. But “something” told her, she said, not to expose herself to radiation without a pregnancy test. Of course, the test was positive; she was carrying her second daughter.
Parry's Corner in Chennai (Credit: moxon.net) |
One-Year Anniversary
Two months later, it was time for the important Hindu rituals marking the one-year anniversary of her father’s death. This first-year Shraddha helps his soul make the transition to the ancestral realm.` Vatsala was happy; her mother was with her, and her baby was healthy.
Dr. Parchuri was considering doing a cardiac fellowship, and she went to Ohio to give a cardiology presentation at the prestigious Cleveland Clinic. By the time she drove home, the ceremony in India for her father had been done. She and her mother sat and cried for a short while. Dr. Parchuri was tired, and after she made sure that the kids were fine, she told her mother that she was going to bed.
She slept in until around 9:30 and did her Sunday morning chores before realizing that her mother wasn’t up yet. Vatsala went into her mother's bedroom to check on her. Everything looked normal and peaceful, but her mother was absolutely still; her chest “didn’t rise and fall,” said Dr. Parchuri. Her mother had died in her sleep.
No post-mortem was done, and the cause of her mother’s sudden death was never determined. (I wonder if it was due to the Takotsubo “broken heart” syndrome seen in post-menopausal women after acute emotional stress, as was told to me by Dr. Jay Nicholson when he sat for his interview a few years back.)
Ballooned left ventricle resembling a Japanese octopus trap (Credit: Bri J Card) |
Losing both parents in a year, the last year of her residency, was very difficult for Dr. Parchuri. She feels guilty for being so busy with her own life that she didn’t give enough support to her grieving mother. Both of her parents were special. She had no siblings at home, and as there was “nobody to play with,” said Vatsala, all she had was her mom and dad. She learned to be “happy and content” with “nobody around.”
Her parents were “peaceful and happy” in their “middle-class life,” noted Dr. Parchuri, and she said that she had “such a peaceful childhood.” She never saw her parents unhappy or complaining. They led a spiritual life in practice. (She remarked that while she was fearful of displeasing her mother, there were no such concerns regarding her doting father.)
The boarding school students, being away from home, treated her mother and father like second parents. Many of these former students have come to the States, and they “swarm around” Vatsala when they meet her, and her parents’ names come up. She knows now that her loving parents “touched people’s hearts.” She did not see this when she was a child. She believes that she receives help from others “every step of the way” because of how her parents were to others. (Transgenerational karma?)
“He loved me. She loved me. I loved them.”
Military School
Speaking of the highly competitive boys' military boarding school (the Sainik School Korukonda under the Ministry of Defence), young Vatsala passed the entrance exam with the top score. She was permitted to attend as the only girl in her class of 80 (and one of, at most, five girls in the entire school) because her father taught in the school. She went there from the 6th through the 12th grades. She (of course) liked math and biology. The always-courteous boys in the class saved the front seat for her, and she sat by herself. Her parents lived in a home on campus. (By the way, girls were only officially admitted to the school in 2021.)
Sainik School Korukonda (Credit: Times of India) |
Medical School
So, following the military-style high school, she took the challenging Medical College Admission Test (MCAT). She did okay, but not well enough for admission. Not inclined to give up, she took the test again and did better. She attended the Guntur Medical College.
Entrance to Guntur Medical College (Credit: HandIndia) |
Dr. Landis |
She enjoyed her training in York and is particularly grateful for having been taught and mentored by, among others, program director Dr. Wolf Blotzer, general internist Dr. Tex Landis, gastroenterologist Dr. Jim Srour, and rheumatologist Dr. David Francois. She said that Dr. Blotzer was almost a father figure; she looked up to him.
After Residency
Dr. Parchuri started the three-year residency “off cycle” in January, so she finished up in December, two months after her mother passed away. Already grief-stricken before that, she had shelved her plans for a cardiology fellowship. Raj had stopped working briefly to focus on research and fellowship applications and to take care of the girls, so she needed to find a job.
Vatsala found that her best opportunity was to take a position across the river at Lancaster General Hospital. So, after a few months off, she started working there. She stayed for four years before the forty-minute commute took a toll. She returned to York to do outpatient work with WellSpan while managing inpatients at the local orthopedic hospital (Orthopaedic and Spine Specialists or OSS). She enjoys the work.
Lancaster General Hospital (Credit: Blaine Shahan) |
Her older daughter (24) is in her third year at the highly competitive Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine in New York. The focus of the innovative “holistic” school is on the training of minority students to serve in underserved rural and urban communities. Women make up the majority of the enrolled students. Vatsala’s younger daughter (now 20) is in Boston as a Chemistry major who has, as yet, shown no interest in medicine.
Dr. Parchuri wants her children to do what makes them happy and to realize that “time is precious” and “you don’t know your exit date.”
Spirituality
This awareness of the fragility and unpredictability of life raised the topic of spirituality. Vatsala said that she has always felt connected to Hinduism, but she is more concerned now with connecting with her inner self. Along this quest, she has tried several types of meditation and methods of using the breath. She has done online work and has gone on short retreats in Atlanta and at the Boone Center in rural North Carolina. She said experiences the “physicality” of the practices more readily than the mental effects per se.
A colleague and friend, Dr. Jayram Thimmipuran, practices and studies “Hearfulness” meditation. She had a few one-on-one meditation sessions with his father, who was here from India visiting his son. When she went to India in 2024 (“for some reason”), Vatsala met Jay’s father and spent three days in group heartfulness meditation at Kanha Shanti Vanam outside of Hyderabad. The large ashram is (according to their website) “an ecological paradise, a place for spiritual retreat, where you can experience simple living in-tune with inner and outer nature."
Kanha Shanti Vanam (World headquarters for the Heartfulness Institute) (Credit: telanganatoday.com) |
Dr. Parchuri observed that some people seem to age more slowly than others and believes that negativity hastens the ageing process. So she strives to avoid negative thoughts as she navigates the challenges of life and solves problems of being a wife, a mother, and a busy physician. Being content, she believes, slows ageing.
She witnessed this calm tranquility in how her parents faced problems, and would like to emulate that. Vatsala is a perfectionist, and she wants to get it right, especially when it affects her family. But she feels that we know nothing, while we think we know a lot. And she feels that being alive, just waking up each day and taking a breath, may be a wonderful thing.
Suggested Readings:
1. Diaz-Navarro, Rienzi. "Takotsubo syndrome: the broken-heart syndrome." British Journal of Cardiology, 2021 28; 30-34. (This usually follows a benign course, but fatal arrhythmias may occur.)
2. O'Connor, Mary-Frances O’Connor. The Grieving Brain: The surprising science of how we learn from love and loss. Harper One, New York, 2022.
The brain devotes lots of effort to mapping where our loved ones are while they are alive, so that we can find them when we need them. And the brain often prefers habits and predictions over new information. But it struggles to learn new information that cannot be ignored, like the absence of our loved one. Grieving requires the difficult task of throwing out the map we have used to navigate our lives together and transforming our relationship with this person who has died. Grieving, or learning to live a meaningful life without our loved one, is ultimately a type of learning. (p. xiv)
3. Patel, Kamlesh, and Pollock, Joshua. The Heartfulness Way: Heart-based Meditations for Spiritual Transformation. New Harbinger Publications, Inc., Oakland, California, 2018.
Heartfulness is based on the ancient Indian spiritual practice of raja yoga, which recognizes that as sentient beings, our nature is inherently divine, and that the path to self-realization is inward, internal, and introspective. (p. vi)
By Anita Cherry 5/4/25
At a Flower Show (painting by AC) |